Curse you Travelocity

Hello gentle readers,

I just got back from a Writing Center conference in Bellingham. That little bit of context probably doesn't matter to those of you reading this, but it does set up the fact that I'm pissed at Travelocity. I don't if you have ever had to worry about getting reimbursed for travel, but for me, I have to turn in all my receipts to the University after the trip. I had my credit card billed but the hotel I stayed at has no record of anything. All the account detials go through the website and Travelocity deletes records after the trip is over. So, I'm s-o-l. Now comes the fun part. What manner of torture can I inflict on the roaming gnome to make myself feel better? My current plan involves lighter fluid, two dozen Peeps and ceramic glue. Anyone else have any suggestions?

Be not afraid! I bring good tidings of great joy!

I regret to inform you, my loyal readers, that there will be no regular Kingdom Heights updates for about the next three weeks.

Due to a rather large illustration job that has been graciously granted to me, I'm going to have to spend approximately every waking moment of the next month working on it. But don't think for a second that I'm complaining.

Illustration, as an activity, is like the smell of Christmas wrapping paper, warm sun, a triple-fudge sundae with peanuts and whip cream, a birthday party helium buzz, and the lightsaber duel from Empire: thoroughly enjoyable.

But you shouldn't forget about ol' King Sheep dot com here.

During my precious few moments of free time, I'll be combining my powers with Pat to produce Coming Distractions with a new comic every day for the first week of May to commemorate the opening summer movie season.

Expect hilarity, irreverence, and a few things you didn't think we were capable of.

It all starts tomorrow, so bookmark http://www.king-sheep.com/cdcomic.html and hold onto whatever it is that you're going to laugh off.

CPU Massacre V: Motherboard of Ruin

There was a time when I used to think I had a knack with machines, electronic or mechanical. Often, my mere presence was enough to cause a previously finicky copier or VCR to spring to life and whistle merrily about its normal routine.

Other times, I would pop its casing open and just follow my nose until I'd done something, then close 'er back up and everything would be fine.

I've recently revised that theory regarding computers. In the past 9 months, I've ruined two whole systems to the point where new machines needed to be purchased, destroyed one hard drive, and rendered another system so ill that it cannot function for longer than two hours without shutting down.

I was finally able to get my own system back up and running a couple days ago (hence the new comic), but I've left quite a swath of destruction behind me. In the end, it was accomplished through a combination of assumptions, mad scrambling, Judeo-pagan rituals, jazz dance, and human sacrifices.

So, what do people think of the new site layout?

Being a general hermit has removed me somewhat from the opinions of my peers, but I am curious. Is the site easily navigable? Are there confusing directories or dead-ends? Lay it on me, folks, I'm not faint of spirit.

Let us know as King Sheep and I continue to come up with ways to dazzle and astonish you.

Past and Future Laughs

Oya y'all,

Some of you may have noticed a big blank comic panel on the comics page. I'll get to that in a second.

First, sorry this week's been a big ol' goose egg of comic strip updates, but it's not entirely my fault. See, first my hard drive tanked, so I had to drag out my back-up drive, install XP, and I'm currently at the phase titled "Attack Pattern Indigo: re-install all vital drivers so my stupid computer knows what to do with its peripherals."

Not entirely my fault. All of my computer's internal components are 7 years old (with the exception of a brand spankin' new video card), but my car is 13 years old and it still works, dammit! Where's the love?

So, to satisfy folks' yearnings for some funny, here's the best I could do with the equipment I have available, and I call it "Humorous Things from a Con."

Click to Englarge

Now what goes in that blank space on the comics page? Well, the illustrious King Sheep and I have decided to combine our powers and do a comic strip together. It's going to be good, and you can expect the first strip to appear on May 1st to kick off the summer movie season.

Think of it like the Justice League of America. Sure, Superman and Batman are great in their own right, fighting crime and being just super in general, but when they get together in the JLA, they're unstoppable. Just like us.

Until then, you'll have to make do with Kingdom Heights and House Rules.

Love, peace, and hair grease.

too full to work

Today at work I was overworked but generally productive. Then, I went out to lunch. Big mistake. We had gyros from Mikeys. For those of you who've ever had Mikeys, then you know the proper way to eat them. Because every gyro is filled with so much yummy meat and veges, it always spills out of the pita. So, what you do is order a grilled pita with feta cheese and split your meat and veges between the two pitas. Wham-o, double gyro! Two times the food, two times the yummy. The only downside brings us back to that big mistake. Suddenly, returning to work I'm lethargic, tired and praying that my clock breaks and speeds up time so I can go home and nap. What we need is a food source akin to what was served in Terry Gilliam's Brazil - green loaf of jello. I'm not wishing for this distopian meal for its taste or presentation, but solely on the grounds of nutrition and portability. While the gyro was yummy, I'm suddenly unable to work and have instead opted to blog. Happy trails.

Pros and Cons

Well, as you can see, I've taken quite a few artistic liberties with the look of the site. Just looking at the front page lately has made me feel an uncomfortable itch in the base of my brain. That and it was slightly depressing what with all the darkness and "oh, I'm soo deep and moody."

Anyway, I went to my first con ever this last weekend where I was able to meet up with the venerable Pats, both Rothfuss and Johnson. I'd like to take a brief moment to explain the comedy of this situation. I am a nerd. Now I'm a self-proclaimed nerd. My wife is smiling at that. I've geeked out at Kevin J. Anderson, David Brin, and Anne McCaffrey. I love Star Wars, Star Trek, magic, unicorns, and theoretical physics, and I've never been to a con.

My parents have been to a con, and I haven't.

Some of you out there who go to cons eight times a year might say "Norwescon? Meh." But it was my first, so it will forever hold a special place in my heart. It was at Norwescon that I discovered facts of life such as "There is such a thing as too much cleavage" and "Clothing can be optional." The best part was that I found myself in an environment where there was no shame. No, perhaps shame is not the right word. There was no judgement. Folks who had no right wearing fishnet were clad head-to-toe in it, and outrageous costumes were worn with reckless abandon.





For me it was the most comfortable place in the entire world for two days.

Lastly, it is with remorse that I announce the death of my hard drive. He fought valiantly against his own demise, but in the end he succumbed to the pressures of my demands and his heads ground to a halt - doubtless forever scarring the surface of the drive and destroying all of my precious hard work. His contents will be missed, though his lack of enthusiasm will not.

So, I'll be doing all of my updating on lunch breaks until the situation can be rectified.

If anyone knows how to install XP on a machine with no operating system, shoot me an e-mail.

Groove on.

Back to the Palouse

I had a wonderfully traditional Easter this year, assuming that all Easters are spent driving across the state and seeing horror movies. I had a nice drive across Washington, catching the amazing mountain views and dodging a few crazy drivers. I played leapfrog with a truck carrying mattresses for over an hour. Then after taking the lead outside Ellensburg, a cop pulled him over. I laughed a little as I zoomed past.

I got home and gave Sarah a big hug. I missed her and given that we didn't get to see each other on my birthday, it was nice to be back in her loving arms. So then we opened some presents, got dinner, and went to see my birthday movie: Grindhouse! Sweet! Okay, I'll be posting a review soon but let me just say that this movie is too gross for a lot of people. I was freaked out and I've got a pretty strong tolerance. However, despite it making me cridge, I enjoyed the hell out of it. For every "ew gross" moment, there is one that makes you laugh or grin.

Okay, now comes the home stretch of the semester. Papers to grade, meetings to hold and way too much work to be done. I'm sure my next post will be during the throws of hair-pulling.

Laters - KS